How to talk to a tourist

After having walked 10 km along the beach between Elviria and Marbella Spain, on one of the sunniest and warmest days this winter, I wasn't only thirsty (yes I had water but) and hungry. All I wanted, for some reason, was a hamburger (or hamburguesa) and beer (cerveza). I got to a point where I didn't care where I got it - from a shack on the beach or a fancy sit-down. The first that came up, upon entering Marbella, was a beachside resto. But I entered from the wrong entrance. "Tienes hamburguesas? (you have hamburgers?) I said as a waiter approached me. "Yes," he immediately switched to English. But, he said, I had entered from the wrong entrance. I had to go around and enter from the main door. "That is how we do things here." A little annoyed by his attitude, I responded, "Oh, the main entrance!" in an exaggerated tone. I considered doing exactly that but then thought "screw it." First, I was put off by the waiter's immediate conversion to English when I asked him something in Spanish. Sure, it happens all the time on the Costa but perhaps his slightly aggressive tone made it annoying. So I continued walking and turned up a block to the main drag, Avenida Ricardo Soriano, named after the main developer who brought post-war tourism - and a lot of foreign money (including infamous Russian oligarchs) - to this destination mecca in southwestern Spain. I walked a couple of blocks and spotted a small cafe across the street. A waiter, as typical, was standing outside. I asked "Tienes hamburguesas?" "Si." No switching to English, he just asked what I'd like on it. I got the "completo" and said "si." I doubt he even knew a word in English. Same with the young waitress. And everyone around me - on the patio and inside - was a local and some were regulars. Ah, I sighed, perfect. No one attempting to speak English to me and taking me literarily at my word, as much Spanish as I had. 

Unfortunately, as beautiful and elegant as downtown Marbella is, I fear the city centre might be hollowing out. The first sign was spotting what used to be a delightful local bakery (photo above), pastry and sandwich shop, undergoing renos when I was here last year. And now I know the reason: it has been turned into - aghast! - a Five Guys hamburger joint. Then, walking further along the street I noticed two storefronts completely empty. I may be jumping to conclusions but indicators like this don't portend well, even for an otherwise exquisite city.

Last week (March 10) I booked a "multi city" air fare from Windsor to London, and returning more than a month later from Berlin to Windsor. I was going to wait on booking it but the Iran War and warnings of gas price hikes made me decide to book early. I paid $1194.26. Just for the heck of it, I decided to check last Friday if the price had skyrocketed. Just the opposite. It had gone down to $1083.25 for the exact same flights. And today I checked again, the price now up to $1383.52 but that included one checked bag!

- Ron Stang, Windsor Ontario Canada, a frequent traveller

A shitshow at Customs, and this was in Spain

I love arriving in Malaga, southwestern Spain's biggest city and international airport hub - gateway to sun-splashed and cultural bliss (Picasso's home town)  So it was disappointing to have to go through the shitshow us passengers from Manchester on a Ryanair flight had to experience Sunday at Málaga-Costa del Sol Airport. We were confronted by the brand new EU Entry-Exit system's fingerprint and photo recognition machines (photo), half of which didn't seem to work. You place your passport over a scanner - that worked. Then it adjusted to take your photo, similar to what you have at Canada Customs at Toronto's Pearson. Then the fingerprint capture. You place four right fingers (not the thumb) over a glass pad and the fingerprints register on a screen. Except they didn't. I tried five or six times and still they didn't take. Finally a notice on a bigger screen popped up saying, "proceed to a manned kiosk." Except...the electronic gates didn't open. I wasn't the only one caught in this bind. About a dozen of us couldn't get through. The Spanish Customs officers were only about 10 m away but seemed oblivious to our plight. Passengers shouted and waved at them but they paid no heed. After a few minutes one finally strolled over and looking at us like we were slightly idiots, said to simply walk round to the booths. The problem? The other lanes were cordoned off with official tape (known as stanchions), usually making passage verboten. A couple of us "risked" it anyway, ducking under the stanchion and making our way to a booth. The officers simply took our passports and stamped them as if nothing had happened. And I don't imagine they got our fingerprints.

Walking out of Malaga airport towards the suburban train station and my train/bus combo journey to Elviria, about 50 km west, I noticed a brand new and spacious Pret A Manger. Pret of course is usually found only in the biggest or swankiest urban and tourist capitals. And I thought: "Malaga has arrived."

I flew Ryanair between Manchester UK and Malaga. It was my second time flying the Irish-based discount carrier, perhaps best known of Europe's budget airlines and notorious for owner Michael O'Leary's sometimes outrageous suggestions for making travel even cheaper - i.e., having passengers stand. The Boeing 737s have a tacky interior with safety instructions stuck on to the back of seats and no seat pockets. The airline's new policy is that you must use a digital boarding pass or risk a £55 ($100.17 Cad) penalty. Since I had paid for my carry-on when booking  ($35.56 Cad for a total one way flight of $94.05) I was deemed "Priority" and could board from the tarmac by the front door. The airline has a nifty app and you can use this to order in-flight meals. I tried but it didn't work. A fellow passenger told me you had to do this before the flight left the ground. Otherwise you have to wait for the food cart to come down the aisle, which took awhile when I was famished not having had breakfast after an overnight flight from Canada. 

At my resort or "apartment-hotel" - where I stay every year - I notice a few subtle changes. There's one paper cup in the bathroom compared to two last year and one dish cloth in the kitchenette instead of two. But since I am on the third floor instead of my normally second floor apartment, perhaps the offerings diminish as one rises higher? Otherwise, this is a great place (pic above) - reasonably priced, efficiently managed and choice location - one of the best finds on the Costa. 

- Ron Stang, Windsor Ontario Canada, a frequent traveller